I’m feeling very crappy right now, but I can’t let anyone know that I am or why. Except Noelle of course. If I didn’t have her, I probably would’ve already gone off on the people I’m pissed off at. It’s really hard to write about something I can’t even speak about.
Here’s what I can share: I didn’t get into a program I’d been really looking forward to. And the reason I’m pissed is because if I got in, I could use what I learned for so much. And this girl who did get in, wrote about chickens. I mean really? How fucked up is that? I wanted this so badly and she just didn’t want to be bored all summer long. It’s even harder for me because she’s one of my good friends.
They also included someone else who’s very interesting in this program. He got accepted last year but turned them down, and then he got accepted again this year. Am I really such a horrible choice? What are their rules for selecting people? I mean really?
I know I’m going to be soooo fucking pissed when these people find out. Especially since I can’t tell them before the official notice or whatever. But fuck them!
This probably makes me just sound really jealous, but I’m confused. And now I have nothing as amazing as this to do this summer. It’s just going to be studying and babysitting. Which isn’t bad, but I wanted to do something remember-able the last summer I’m here. I’ll get over it, but right now…life just sucks!
(prom this weekend. prom this weekend. I can do this)
((shit! I have to go to prom with her. I wander if I can keep it together))