Growing Up Blues
written by Kristie
________ ~ * ~ ________
Yes. I have definitely got a huge case of the growing up blues. What sucks even more is that I know that I’m not even close to being a grown up.
I remember how easy life was during middle school. I’d wake up with half an hour left before I had to head off to school (that’s when I actually got sleep…what is this?). Enough time to shower, dress, eat, and prep myself for the day. Not that I really did any of that.
Then, I’d show up at school and hang out with my friends before first class, which also had 5 or so of my friends in it. I’d go through the day without worrying too much about homework (six pages or so for reading, ten problems in math, and maybe a little project work for SS). Then I’d hang out with my friends after school.
I remember all the adventures we used to get into after school: chasing around a neighbor’s dog, trying to help it’s owner get it back; getting a high school tennis boy to wear a pink sweater we found (which we eventually did); car-pooling with my cousins which meant an hour of fun while my cousin did ice-skating and an insane-laughter filled car ride home.
I never had much to worry about. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of horrible things that went on those years, but never too much pressure I felt I couldn’t handle it.
My dreams were alive back then. I’d write stories during Spanish class (and THAT is the reason why I don’t know Spanish like my mom, people). I was never afraid to sing in choir. And I absolutely loved to tutor my friends in math.
Now, it feels like there is so much pressure being pushed down on me from all sides. I have to get a job. I have to keep up my homework for classes. I have to take care of my sister. I have to manage sports. I have to find colleges to apply too next year.
Whatever happened to being a kid? Is it just kicked out of you once you’re in high school. It’s like now, all of a sudden, we’re going to pull you in all directions and see if you keep up or not. And if you don’t, well, then you’re a loser.
I need to be a kid again. I want to be able to play after school instead of having to do loads of homework. I feel like going out for ice cream with my friends. I realize that I have to grow up eventually, but why does that have to be now? And why must my dreams vanish too?